The Search Engine stared down at Website in pity. He said, “If a blog says her name, a Search Engine will give her SEO back.”
“A Blog has no name,” said the Website.
When I have named blogs in the past, I tried to create something so new, so fresh, so instantly marketable that anyone who saw it would burst into song and possibly throw money at me. So far, no dice. I tried using the name Dan-Nation but found out that there was already writer using that handle (their work is really good and I’ve liked reading them so I’d hate to hurt their brand). I tried out filozophy for a while but it seemed really pompous after I looked at it long enough (it kind of sounds like something Frasier would name his blog for reviewing Mongolian throat singers).
Also, pro-tip: calling yourself a philosopher in any way without a doctoral degree is kind of asking for A) someone to make fun of you, or B) someone to challenge your philosophical knowledge and/or C) just asking for a wedgie. That’s on top of the issue that without seeing the word spelled out, it was probably really easy to lose people who couldn’t find it with one metric Google. “Yeah, just follow me on Twitter. My handle is like ‘philosophy’ but with an ‘f’ and a ‘z’. No, just one of the ‘p’s is an ‘f’. No, just the first one. Wait! Where are you going? Come back here!”
For a while, my writing blog had a considerably creative title with ‘Concerning Fiction‘ which I still really like. The only issue is a more concise title would have been ‘Concerning My Fiction: The Ego Chapel of Daniel Pool’ –which really isn’t terrible in my mind. May have to copyright ‘Ego Chapel’.
I used to run a blog called ‘Larks Fiction Magazine‘. It was named Larks to match my webcomic and media company I was trying to start during college. I called them ‘larks’ as that was a local idiom for a joke or short story with no real purpose. Kind of a passing thought rather than a full narrative. The first problem was that there are already like three ‘larks’ website and/or magazines in the world. Also, I never got the other two pieces of the puzzle working (the comic and company). So the magazine became a single legged stool that eventually collapsed under the weight of work, life, and slush pile overload.
I still want to revive the magazine. A buddy of mine and I want to get back into working on it. We just haven’t cleared enough time around our grad school schedules to feel confident in giving it another go. Not to mention there were Steam summer sales, so… you know. We won’t be going outside anytime soon.
A title should:
- Encapsulate what you do.
- Not be too general.
- Or too broad.
- Should be easy to spell.
- Should not have too many other things named like it.
- Should look smashing on a t-shirt.
So I was probably up a creek on finding a good name. While I was stewing on what I should call this new project, I was working through a Udemy series on Blender 3D modeling. They mentioned that you have to be careful to calculate your normals correctly or else your model will have random invisible sections. This really struck a cord with me. In real life, I feel like I’m invisible sometimes. I’m scenery. I have missing sections. My normals aren’t calculated.
Other people, it seems from the outside, somehow have real life back-face culling engaged. They seem to walk into the room and demand attention. You know everything about their character when you see them. It’s like they don’t have blank or void spots. They are complete. Whether that is true or just how I see them, it really struck home when I got to thinking about it like that.
When playing a game, if you step “outside the level” and see all the walls disappear–that is the real life version. 3D game worlds are a fragile illusion we hang together with glue and tape. Designers create their worlds and silently pray no one looks too closely at the little details. A player runs at your design the right way, at the right time, and suddenly they can see right through you. Life can be the same way–a fragile existence we kind of make up as we go. Our social customs, traditions, and even what we consider wealth or social standing are all just kind of made up.
I think that is what this blog is for. It may not reach a mega following. It may never have the viral reach of an ice bucket challenge or a grumpy cat, but it’ll be my way of calculating my normals. Centering myself back on topic. Filling in my void. I mean, it’s all an illusion. I might as well have a good mesh.