Session Four of Bad Dudes with Tudes D&D

In session four, our wizard was absent and our warrior had to leave early. We roleplayed that the halfling was eager for a fight after his day off. The wizard, meanwhile, disappeared with his book of necromancy. The fighter, however, became a pain-sponge for the remaining party. Armed with the where-there-abouts of a walking goblin castle and a whole lot of murdering to do, the party assembled!

*Minor spoilers for the Lost Mines of Phandelver starter box*


So last time, on the genocidal murder hobos show, our party of brave villains made short work of a few bonus dungeons I had prepared and avoid most of the combat I had planned on having. They had also learned where the walking goblin castle was hiding. Gathering themselves, they made their way to a meeting with the orcks from the last session. Just as they arrived, a massive goblin castle breached the treeline and a siege was on. The party used the battle as cover for boarding the castle (with some minor goblin head splitting). The halfling used a grappling hook and the party climbed upward.

Once on board, the team went room-by-room, murdering everything. No prisoners were taken. The “murder-ling” was in impressive form with his newly acquired rogue skills. Using the skeleton warrior as a literal shield, he hid and stabbed everything to death. Meanwhile, I played the warrior as a walking damage sponge. I rolled terribly for every single one of his rolls (well… I got one crit at the wrong time).


The party was on the look out for a way into the inner workings of the castle. They found an abandoned room that was an old church sanctuary. I rolled to see how long the monster hiding in the ceiling would wait till dropping. Turns out, exactly long enough for them to escape below.


In the engine room, the rogue made an improvised firebomb. Rolling a critical failure on the creation of said firebomb led to some fun. The cleric decided to move away from the rogue and the fun began. What was supposed to be a challenging mini-boss fight became a massacre. There was an evil wizard, a few tough hobgoblins, and a switch puzzle that could change the fight. They did not withstand the improvised attack strategy.


The murder-ling started things off by throwing his firebomb. I frantically read what I could and house ruled he could use it like a single use cantrip fire spell. Since he failed on its creation, he set himself ablaze when he lit the fuse. Turns out he leaked oil on himself. He did, however, make an impressive disadvantaged throw and all the monsters failed to get away.


After the fire started, the battle concluded quickly. Left with a burnt out control rig, they quickly discovered how to stop the castle from its rampage. The rogue took this opportunity to vigorously shake the castle before breaking the switches.


From here, the A-Team made a move to the throne room. Outside were two guards. The rogue rolled a 20 on his sneak and wanted to get off a sneak attack on one of the guards. He then failed miserably at stabbing the hobgoblin. However, because he rolled SO well on each sneak and the guard rolled SO bad at noticing–I just let it keep going. He failed twice to stab the guard before the guy leaned against him and the wall. Effectively pinning the little guy. So the cleric came to the rescue. Heroicly giving the beat down to both guards.


In the throne room, the queen and king were arguing about the assault. The king wanted to rejoin the orcks but the queen would have none of it. As the party entered, she slew the king and took his mantle. In the background, a shadowy figure ducked behind the throne. The queen and her pet dire wolf saw the adventurers and panicked. Both began to attack our heroes.


The rogue, cleverly, began climbing some scaffolding placed against the walls. Firing a few arrows off, he caught the wolf’s attention. The wolf began climbing after the rogue and two began an intense game of cat and delicious-mouse.


Meanwhile, the cleric, and warrior fought the queen. Mechanically, she was a fully loaded bugbear with a massive ax. She went to town on our heroes. However, she was no match for both the dwarf and the skeleton. When she was down to a single hit point (for real) I rolled a natural 20 with the warrior, however, I didn’t want to give the big boss kill shot to myself as the DM. This may have been a mistake. After that crit, neither I or the cleric could hit the now raging goblin queen. It was the hobgoblin fight from the Cragmaw cave all over again. Finally, we got a shot off on her and she went down.


With the boss cleared, the party went looking for the mysterious stranger that disappeared. They found the royal bed chambers and inside, a banged up Gundren. They went to his aid, only to be stabbed in the side. It WAS the mysterious stranger, a changeling, disguised as their dwarf friend. This monster was given a lot of stat bonuses because they were supposed to escape and fight another day… unfortunately for the changeling, the rogue had one more firebomb.


So the tiny bedchamber became engulfed in flames. There was a tiny window but the creature failed terribly to escape it. So he pressed the door were all four-foot-nothing cleric held his ground. All the while the murder-ling committed sneak attacks against the poor dear. So, one of my more challenging creatures in the module was defeated in a torturous fashion.


With the dungeon cleared, they went on the hunt for other monsters not yet murdered. They went back to the sanctuary and fought the grick. With the help of some orcks and some careful planning, they made mincemeat of the thing.


In the end, they found some treasure, loads of armor and weapons for the old lair, and a magical map of the Ehco Caves. Now all they have left in the module is to find the dwarf and/or key to the mountain kingdom at the Red Manor and take on the mountain itself. The manor will be fairly straightforward (I think). It is a more traditional dungeon. I have made plans for the mountain, though. I’ll keep those against my chest, but I think it’ll be a good time.


Thanks for reading!

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