I made it over to my the house I’m working on this weekend. I have two bathrooms to tidy up and some work to get the heating/air running. My big project is getting the furnace operational so we can live there year round. I also want to get our master bathroom put together so we don’t have to live in a construction site. You can follow the more nitty-gritty details over on the Tumblr for my house (because that’s how hipster my place is) but I wanted to wax philosophic here a moment.
The house is a mess. I tore out a wall to install gas pipe. I never finished the master bathroom tile job that I bought tile for over a year ago. I stacked boxes pretty much anywhere they would fit. I felt kind of lousy about my progress. I’ve been a little overwhelmed between school, work, family, hobbies, AND the remodeling project. I knew this was a big task when I took it on but I took it on anyway. I wanted this challenge. I wanted this headache.
I got it.
But now, after several years, what I want is to go home. For good. Or at least a long time. I don’t want to be between homes or half-living in different places. I want to have my place where I live and mow the grass and choose paint colors. I want to be comfortable and safe. This longing for a place of my own has lead to some unexpected experiences for me. Like bawling in the movie theater to the Hobbit.
But then there are days like last Sunday. After failing to thread pipe for a day and not exactly succeeding at tiling. I just put stuff up. I pushed boxes around and organized things. I sat on my porch and watched a sunset. I locked the door to my garden shed. I took in the feeling of belonging to a place. I sat on my couch in my tidied up living room and breath relief. It was coming together.
Just cleaning up the place how much closer I was to being home again. Writing my Tumblr update, I went back through some old posts. I always forget how terrible things looked when I started working on the place. The trees everywhere. The yard was a jungle. The siding was pulling off. The front porch was sliding off.
Now I’m fretting about shower tiles not being straight. It takes perspective sometimes to remember how far you’ve come. My home may not be ready for its Country Living photo shoot, but it’s just so nearly a place I can move into. It’s almost a place I can practice ukulele in again or read while drinking tea. It’s almost home again.
So, after I watched a tutorial about how I was holding my pipe wrench backward all last Friday, drove to Lindsay last night and threaded pipe. I just got a couple of hours in before the sunset and I left but it was a couple of hours closer than I’d been the day before. I just have to keep moving ahead a little at a time. I just need to keep pushing my boulder up the hill a little further than I did the last time it rolled to the bottom. I just need to go a little further and maybe this time, it’ll be a little easier.
Thanks for reading–enjoy an amazing person who does awesome things and making me feel like I really can do this: